A timeline of times couples share their deepest financial secrets


Sharing your money secrets can be important to the progress of your relationship, but when should you be talking about money?

Sharing your money secrets can be important to the progress of your relationship, but when should you be talking about money?

When you fall in love, there is a ton to learn about your new partner. From foods you both love to favorite movies, discovering what you have in common can be exhilarating.

At some point in your relationship, however, the conversation needs to shift from fun anecdotes and sharing details about your hobbies to more difficult topics, especially if you’re planning on getting serious. And a lot of those tough conversations have to be about your money, because combining your love lives also means combining your financial lives.

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When do couples have money talks?

According to The Ascent’s survey of over 1,000 people in engaged relationships:

  • It took an average of nine months for people to reveal their annual salaries to their partners.
  • It took 10 months to reveal the debts incurred and share the details of the monthly expenses.
  • Checking and savings account balances were revealed after 11 months, shortly before the house keys were exchanged.
  • The telltale investment history occurred after 11 months of dating.
  • The partners only disclosed their respective credit scores after one year and three months on average.

Survey respondents generally did not share any of this financial information until they took other important steps in their relationship, including saying “I love you”, spending a long vacation together, and meeting their parents. their partner.

Oddly, however, while couples were unwilling to divulge their credit information early in the relationship, it only took an average of two months before partners were ready to let their partner borrow their credit card. credit.

When to talk about money?

Talking about money too early can be a drag, especially if your partner thinks you are bringing up serious issues too early in the relationship.

But it is very important to have financial conversations as early as possible because some money issues can be a breakup. In fact, 34% of those surveyed indicated that finances were the number one source of stress in their relationships, and previous research found that some people don’t date someone with high debt.

Partner-seekers clearly prioritize fiscal responsibility, with around seven in 10 Americans telling The Ascent that they hope their loved one will be employed full-time, have financial goals, and follow a budget. It can be hard to tell if someone you’re dating is doing these things if you don’t have financial discussions for more than six months after you start seeing each other.

Every relationship can take a different path, but it’s a good idea to address the key money topics that interest you as soon as you and your partner start getting serious. If you are talking about a future together, you must be able to talk about how the money will be reflected in your life together.

How to talk about money with your partner

Talking about money isn’t important just because you need the details of what your partner is making or how much they owe. You also want to make sure that you are able to communicate openly without judgment. You’ll have to make tons of shared financial decisions together if your relationship goes the distance and you don’t want every conversation about your finances to be a struggle.

Pay attention to the language you use when having conversations about money, and watch how your partner treats you when you share details about your own financial situation. You both need to be prepared to be honest, to set common goals for each other, and to respect each other’s decisions. If you can’t do this early in your relationship, your problems managing your financial life together are likely to get worse.

Our guide to getting on board same page with your partner on your finances can help you see if you’re financially compatible – and we’ve got a few tips for talking about money with your partner that might help. Find out and start a money conversation as soon as you get serious. I hope you both are happy to bring financial issues to light.


About Andrew Miller

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